An Everyday Celebration

Yesterday was my 40th birthday.

It was a pretty ordinary day.

Neil worked from home, and went out to a couple of appointments.

The cleaning lady came mid-morning.

Grace and Charlotte ate and played. Lucinda fed and slept. There were moments when all three were crying at once and wanting attention. And there were a few quieter moments too.

I received a couple of phone calls, and quite a few text messages, wishing me a happy birthday. Some packages arrived - a gift card and massage voucher from my brother and his wife, and a message in chocolate from my parents.

The "Chocogram" Mum sent.

Grace helped me bake a cake, which she and Charlotte later enthusiastically decorated - by pouring all the sprinkles on top! And I asked Neil to take them to the party shop to buy half a dozen balloons. For Grace, it isn't a proper birthday unless there are balloons.

Getting ready to cut the cake.

Neil kindly organised some take away pizza for tea, so I didn't have to cook. And that was about it.

I've always been the sort of person who is into big events, or at least marking what I consider to be significant milestones with meaningful gestures. So this is a bit unusual for me. But, as you are already aware, my current circumstances don't lend themselves to overseas adventures or lively celebrations.

But maybe that is OK. Maybe spending the day caught up in the mundane, everyday activities of life with three young children is the best thing I could have done.

My life has involved travel to exotic destinations. It has included parties and celebrations. And I hope it will again.

But right now. my life is about my family. And for a little while, they are young enough that there's not much room for anything else.

I count myself very fortunate to be married and to have children.  This hasn't been an option for many of my friends. So I'm going to do my best to enjoy it while I can.

After all, there's nothing more meaningful than spending time with the people you love. And that's the sort of celebration I can repeat over and over again.

The Big 'C'

I have cancer.

Skin cancer.

A large, infiltrative morpheaform basal cell carcinoma, to be exact.

I've had a lesion on my forehead for at least two years, which my GP had assured me was a sebaceous cyst and nothing to worry about. However, in the last six months or so it has developed into a non-healing ulcer, and particularly in the last few months of my pregnancy, has started to spread rapidly.

I was waiting until after Lucinda was born before undergoing a biopsy and finding out my treatment options. Now we have more information.

A basal cell carcinoma (BCC) is the best sort of cancer to have. It very rarely metastasizes, and surgery is curative in most cases if enough tissue is removed. However, most information I've read mentions "cosmetic disfigurement" somewhere early on in the piece. I don't think I'm going to end up looking very good, especially in the first couple of months after surgery. It's lucky I'm not having a big birthday party after all!

Yesterday Neil and I met with my plastic surgeon, who is a pleasant man and very competent and knowledgeable. He explained that my tumour is large and deep (he needs to take all the tissue down to the bone), and has difficult to define margins. The cancer itself is about the size of a 20 cent piece, but then he needs to take a margin of up to 6 mm around it in order to make sure it is all removed.

In 95% of cases where the tumour is not adhered to the bone, the surgeon is able to remove it all in the first attempt. That means I am unlikely to need a temporary skin graft. Instead, he will use a rotational flap from the side of my scalp to cover the hole. But he warned me it would involve a very large incision (right around towards my ear, apparently) and I will have a lot of stitches and staples. Because my hair is quite fine, the scar may be visible long term but that remains to be seen.

Because of the extensive nature of the surgery, I will be having a general anaesthetic and stay overnight in hospital with a drain in the wound (it is likely to bleed a lot, apparently). This will all be happening on Thursday, 12th July (the earliest surgery date he had available).

We're still working out the logistics in terms of child care, and in particular the care of Lucinda, who will be four weeks old and is breastfeeding. But I've got a couple of weeks to express and store plenty of milk so that shouldn't be a problem.

In the meantime, my message is ... wear a hat! Even if it makes you feel hot and uncomfortable, or doesn't fit properly. I haven't always been good at that. And if you have fine hair, wear sunscreen on your scalp as well as your face. Even if it makes your hair look greasy and untidy.

Finally, if you have a spot you are concerned about, go straight to a dermatologist rather than trusting your GP! From now on I'll be having annual check-ups with the dermatologist. The chances are more of these tumours will appear on my head and neck. But I'll do my best to make sure they don't get as big as this one has.

Well Said

On the Wednesday before Lucinda was born, Mum and I spent a lovely day in Maling Road, Canterbury. We browsed in the shops, and enjoyed lunch in a cafe that offered a number of vegetarian options. It was just the two of us, and I really enjoyed it.

I didn't buy a lot, but knew I had to get this canvas for the girl's room as soon as I saw it. The words describe the sort of women I'd like them to be ... and the sort of woman I'd like to be myself.

It is hanging on the wall in Grace's room at the moment, but will get a special place somewhere in our new house eventually.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Introducing Lucinda Mae

I am very proud to introduce our third daughter, Lucinda Mae Finnegan, who was born at 9:52am on Friday, 8th June.

For those who are interested in these things, her vital statistics were:

• Weight - 2830g (6 lbs 4 oz)
• Length - 48.5 cm
• Head Circumference - 34 cm

As Lucinda's parents, Neil and I are obviously delighted in the arrival of a healthy baby, as well as a beautiful one.

In fact, the whole family has enthusiastically welcomed her. Grace is fascinated in her every movement, and is quite gentle and keen to help. Charlotte mostly points and shouts "Baby, baby", but also loves to watch everything that is going on.

Of course there is the question of who she resembles. Will the "red curls" in this blog's title still apply? A lot of it remains to be seen. According to my mother, Lucinda looks a lot like I did as a baby, especially in the photo below.

Lucinda has dark eyes which I believe will turn blue, and quite fair hair. I didn't think there was much ginger in it, but this photo might prove me wrong.

Neil and Grace came to the hospital this morning to bring Lucinda and I home. The temperature was only in single digits, but she was rugged up nice and cosy.

I'm sure you'll see plenty more photos of Lucinda in the days and weeks to come.

A Labour of Love

I was fairly certain that I would go into labour naturally before being induced at 39 weeks. But it still took me a little by surprise at 3:30 on Friday morning when I woke up as my waters broke. I didn't go straight into labour, but was having random contractions, so headed in to the hospital about an hour later.

We completed all the paperwork and were admitted to the delivery suite, where a midwife spent about an hour monitoring me and the baby to make sure everything was OK. My friend (and birth attendant) Fiona arrived, and encouraged me in some exercises to try to bring on established labour. A nurse bought me some breakfast, and it wasn't until about 8:30 am that a doctor came to see me.

After an internal examination, the obstetrician declared I was 1-2 cm dilated and ready for labour. Because I've had gestational diabetes, the risk of infection after my waters breaking was higher. So he recommended putting up a drip to induce labour rather than sending me home again to wait it out.

I wasn't so keen on the drip, but fortunately it didn't last long. As soon as they put it up, contractions started coming one after the other. Less than five minutes later they decided to turn it off, as it was clear that the baby was on the way. I had to instantly adopt all my pain management strategies - eyes closed, deep breathing, banging the bed loudly with a ball, and listening to my husband count 1-2-3. He knows by now what works for me, and we got straight into it!

I don't like being in labour. It is incredibly intense and painful. I always get terribly nervous, knowing what is coming. But this time I managed it well, once again without drugs, with the help of Neil, Fiona ... and the fact that it was so short. Contractions were up to two and a half minutes long, but they were very effective, and it was only an hour before I started pushing, and only a few minutes after that that our beautiful little daughter was born.

She's definitely worth it!

When it was all over I only required two stitches, and as you can see was overjoyed at the birth of my third little girl. I'm getting good at this!

Bags for the Big Sisters

I want to be able to give Grace and Charlotte each a little gift when their new baby sister is born, to mark the occasion for them.

When Charlotte was born, Grace received a Baby Bjorn doll with clothes, nappies and a bottle.

This time, I have collected two books each (about being a big sister, or having a little sister), a soft newborn baby doll with a wrap for Charlotte, and a little Sylvanian family baby with cot, high chair and pram for Grace.

I'm not sure where the idea came from, but I decided to make them each a bag to hold their gifts.

I bought plain calico bags from Spotlight, and appliqued their names on. This is how they turned out:

I'm pretty pleased with that. The girls might be a big young to appreciate it all, but at least I can feel like I've made something nice for them.

Sorted!

Before having children, I was aware that parents accumulate a lot of things, including toys. But I hadn't realised what a big deal clothes are.

Children grow out of clothing so quickly, and often it is still in good condition (especially the smaller sizes). You keep it for the next child, and soon storage becomes a big issue.

I am about to give birth to my third daughter. Which will mean three little girls ranging in size from 0000 to 5. Which in turn means a lot of clothes.

For the last few months, it has all been stored on the spare bed to be sorted out and stored appropriately. This is what it looked like (quite a way through the process, too!):

A big pile of laundry, and numerous nappy boxes waiting to be emptied.

Well, I'm pleased to say, the task is virtually complete! There is one laundry basket of clothing that remains to be sorted, but everything else has been put away in labelled boxes, or in the drawers of the child who will wear it.

This is what the spare bed looks like now:

Much better for Mum to sleep on!

And, thanks to a big pile of plastic boxes and some labels, this is what the wardrobe in the spare room now looks like:

Some of the boxes are overflowing a little.

A sight that makes me feel very good.

I'm not sure how long it will last like this, but at least it is a good start. Maybe the nesting has kicked in just a little?